jump jump jump

Today my body is reminding me that I am no longer 18 years old (not that I was fit at 18, just less decrepit). I’ve crossed the half-70 age marker, which means that spending three hours on a Saturday night vibing, shout-singing, dancing and jumping at a K-pop concert—in the Singaporean heat and humidity, no less—felt like I had a fairly serious session at the gym.

But what a glorious Saturday night.

I didn’t go to big concerts as a teenager and, if anything, seem to have got more self-conscious (in some ways) the older I get. When I was a kid friends and I used to get into shouting/screaming competitions on the school bus home just for the fun of seeing who could be louder (sorry, bus uncle). Today I melt in mortification at the idea of unprompted, no-context screaming. I once tried to do vocal warm-ups and abruptly stopped because I started feeling embarrassed. I was at home. Alone.

A concert, then, is a space to feel free to unearth a loud, boisterous self, where I feel the most liberated and least self-conscious about being a fan, about displaying totally uncool levels of enthusiasm. At a concert like the one I attended last night, I don’t have to wonder if I’m being ‘too much’ because everyone else is doing the same and we’re just happy and not judging and having lots and lots of fun. None of the tiredness and mild muscle ache that I have now hit me during the show itself; I could happily have danced and cheered all night.

Thoughts pop into my head, unbidden, all the time. They’re often to do with work or other obligations that I have, and often leave me feeling slightly ashamed or guilty that I’m doing whatever I’m doing instead of working. (Right now, as I write this, I’m feeling bad for not tidying up drafts and folders for Mekong Review since we’re going to print this coming week.) But at the Stray Kids concert last night I felt no guilt, no burden, no self-blame or criticism. It was a rare occasion of giving myself full and complete licence to think of nothing else but enjoying myself and loving every moment of it. Apart from the obvious artistry and talent of the artists I love to see, that, for me, is the main allure and beauty of a big spectacle of a K-pop concert.

I’m now back to real life and going to have to resume regular programming—right now, that’s pretty intense because it’s crunch time for a number of things. It’s too bad; I wish I could dwell in this blissful, freeing state of mind for a little longer.

~ vibes ~

An epic song to open an epic concert with: